Humor

The Humorous Obituary of Holly McCray Blair

Let’s start a collection of humorous obituaries. here is an excerpt from a recent obituary for Holly McCray Blair:

“She is survived by four spoiled cats ,two stinky dogs, three bad birds, a turtle and an utterly useless frog named Fred as well as three children and a husband of little to no importance.”

There’s more at: https://www.woodriverchapel.com/book-of-memories/4304349/Blair-Holly/index.php.

My thanks to the anonymous newsletter reader who told me about this obituary.

Today is Star Wars Day

Today is May 4th. That makes it Star Wars Day. Enjoy it!

OK, so that is not an official holiday. The date was chosen for the pun on the catchphrase “May the Force be with you” as “May the Fourth be with you“.

Even though the holiday was not created or declared by Lucasfilm, many Star Wars fans across the world have chosen to celebrate the holiday. It has since been embraced by Lucasfilm and parent company Disney as an annual celebration of Star Wars.

It’s April Fools’ Day, but Understandably, Not Many People are in a Joking Mood. Here is a Genealogy Alternative.

All Fools’ Day is an annual custom on April 1 consisting of practical jokes and hoaxes. While the jokes and hoaxes may be in various forms, it is common for online publications to publish a misleading article that first appears to be factual, then at the end of that article, the author reveals the joke is on the reader.

I was going to write an April Fools’ article this year, but my heart really wasn’t in it. Sitting in my self-imposed CoronaVirus isolation, filled with anxiety and depression, I simply could not dream up any suitable joke or hoax. However, since I had lots of time available, I whiled away the hours by surfing the web, often looking for humorous articles in an attempt to improve my mental outlook. Then I found “it!”

In this case, “it” is a song that is really a joke, reveals a hoax near the end of the song, and even features a young man who finds a surprise in his family tree. OK, it isn’t an April Fool’s joke but it has all the required elements to be published in a genealogy-related newsletter.

Follow-Up: How the Irish Man Hilariously Pranked His Family at His Own Funeral

This is a do-it-yourself article. You could do this yourself when the day comes. Well, you do have to have assistance from someone else at the funeral…

If you haven’t already read it, first read my earlier article, Irish Man Hilariously Pranks His Family at His Own Funeral, at https://blog.eogn.com/2019/10/14/irish-man-hilariously-pranks-his-family-at-his-own-funeral/. Now Andrea, the daughter of the dearly departed Irishman, has revealed how her late father came up with the idea more than a year earlier.

(When the video starts playing, click on the speaker icon near the lower right corner to enable the sound.)

Irish Man Hilariously Pranks His Family at His Own Funeral

I have been collecting humorous obituaries for a while. This story isn’t about an obituary but about something related, as created by a man with a similar sense of humor.

As described by Ellie Houghtaling in the Mashable web site:

Shay Bradley of Kilnamanagh in the south of Dublin, Ireland, passed October 8, but that didn’t mean he was ready to give up his life’s passion of pranking his family. When his coffin was lowered and the bag pipes began playing, something unusual happened – an audio recording of his voice began playing.

(When the video starts playing, click on the speaker icon near the lower right corner to enable the sound.)

“Can I Have a Copy of Your Fudge Recipe?” “Over my Dead Body!”

Dr. Wade Andrews felt that his long, rich life could only be summed up by his wife’s fudge recipe. In fact, he wanted to make sure the recipe was saved for posterity so he had the recipe engraved on his tombstone in the the Logan (Utah) City Cemetery.

Yes, it really is “etched in stone.”

You can click on the above image to view a larger (and easier to read) version.

Follow-Up to Another “Interesting” Obituary about Joseph Heller, Jr.

Last week I published an article at https://blog.eogn.com/2019/09/12/another-interesting-obituary/ about Joe Heller’s obituary. It seems that his funeral and burial ceremony have now taken place and, as you might expect, both were a bit “unusual.”

According to the New York Times at https://tinyurl.com/eogn190916:

On Friday morning, Mr. Heller’s body, in a coffin draped with an American flag, was placed on the 1941 Mack fire truck he helped restore and taken to Centerbrook Cemetery to be buried next to his wife, Irene, who died in 2015, and whom he embarrassed daily “with his mouth and choice of clothing,” according to the obituary.

Family members followed the fire truck in Mr. Heller’s immaculately restored 1932 Plymouth roadster with, as per his request, a set of plastic testicles dangling from the rear bumper.

There’s more information available at: https://tinyurl.com/eogn190916.

Another “Interesting” Obituary

I have published a number of humorous or otherwise interesting obituaries in the past, simply because I enjoy reading them. Apparently, humorous obituaries are also enjoyed by many others. Two different newsletter readers have now sent me links to the same person’s obituary and I must say that I am sorry I never met the man. He sounds like “my kind of guy.”
Joseph Heller, Jr.
Joe Heller made his last undignified and largely irreverent gesture on September 8, 2019, signing off on a life, in his words, “generally well-lived and with few regrets.” When the doctors confronted his daughters with the news last week that “your father is a very sick man,” in unison they replied, “you have no idea.” God thankfully broke the mold after Joe was born…
Also, you will enjoy these words to describe his memorial service:
Joe despised formality and stuffiness and would really be ticked off if you showed up in a suit. Dress comfortably. The family encourages you to don the most inappropriate T-Shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with as Joe often did.

Thomas Mulligan’s Humorous Obituary

“Thomas (Tomm) WJ Mulligan of Nashua [New Hampshire] has passed away at home in his recliner as he had threatened to for years.

“He was a kid from Brooklyn who grew up to live the American Dream of marriage, a career, a house in the suburbs and two pain in the ass kids. He attended Bishop Ford High School.

“He was a DIYer with no less than five unfinished projects at any time.”

A Genealogy Cartoon about Queen Victoria and Her Relatives

A rather cute cartoon is actually an animated romp through a tale of ancestral inconsequence! It is from the album Queen Victoria.

You can view it on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/G7bFs56grzc or in the video player below:

Mark Your Calendar: the Apocalypse Will Occur on December 28, 2019

You can party from now until December 28th. Run up credit card bills, spend your money in Las Vegas, get drunk, and have fun with other things. Why not? The world is going to end anyway late this year so you don’t have to worry about paying those bills.

This time it is for real, at least according to David Montaigne, a guy who has written multiple books about the end times, and bills himself as a “historian and “prophecy scholar.”

You might want to be aware that Montaigne’s record of predictions hasn’t been very good. Montaigne has previously claimed that the anti-Christ was going to return to Earth in June of 2016. But Montaigne is still here and is still making predictions about the end of the world. He insists this time it is for real.

Montaigne makes the following claims on his website:

Ancestry.com and Mega Millions

I won’t republish it here because of copyright laws but I will say if you would like to see a cute cartoon that mixes Ancestry.com and the recent Mega Millions jackpots together, take a look at: https://tinyurl.com/y8gm6r93.

Another Humorous Obituary

“Michael James Sweetack was born in Fond du Lac Wisconsin on May 27th, 1974 to Stanley and Debra Sweetack.

“He died on July 5th, 2018, leaving behind 8 packets of Szechuan sauce, a whole lot of debt, one 10 euro note, and other various things that could very possibly be used to make concentrated dark matter, the fuel for accelerated space travel- regardless of the issue with relativity.

“He was preceded in the death by approximately 101 billion other people and…”

There’s more. You can read the entire obituary at http://m.hovcremation.com/obituaries/events?obituaryId=3145136.

Terry Ward’s Obituary Mentions He Left Behind 32 Jars of Miracle Whip and 17 Boxes of Hamburger Helper

I am saddened that I never met Terry Wayne Ward of DeMotte, Indiana. He sounds like a man I would love to know. Here is his obituary:

Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Terry is survived by his overly-patient and accepting wife Kathy, who was the love of his life (a fact she gladly accepted sympathy for during their 48 years of marriage). He is also survived by daughters Rebecca (William) Hines and Jean (Jeff) Lahm; sister, Linda; brother, Phil; grandchildren: Alexander and Hannah Hines (The Mesopotamians), Daphne and Erin Pistello (The Daffer and Peanut), Brendan and Owen Lahm (Phineas and Ferb) and Tessa McMurry (Smiley).

He is preceded in death by his parents Paul and Bernice Ward, daughter Laura Pistello, grandson Vincent Pistello, brother Kenneth Ward, a 1972 Rambler and a hip.

Philip Dayton Thorpe’s Obituary: “I told you this would happen”

Philip Dayton Thorpe passed away on April 10. Before his death, he wrote his own obituary. Here are some excerpts:

“Philip Dayton Thorpe, born in Salt Lake City, April 1, 1934, to Ward R. & Phyllis Dayton Thorpe, and whose birth probably marked the beginning of April Fools’ Day, died April 10, 2018, from causes related to life-long obesity and sleeping standing up. His grave marker will read ‘This corpse, is Phil Thorpe’s.'”

“His accomplishments will be published at a later date, if any are discovered.”

Ikea Founder Ingvar Kamprad Dies Aged 91

There seem to be a lot of obituaries lately. Today I read that the founder of Ikea, Ingvar Kamprad, passed away. Details may be found at: http://bit.ly/2FqHDxj.

Rumor has it that his funeral may be delayed while his family figures out how to assemble the casket:

The Humorous Obituary of Terry Ward

I admire this man’s lifestyle. Terry Ward of DeMotte, Indiana, passed away January 23, 2018. I don’t know who wrote his obituary but, whoever it was, that person has a sense of humor. Amongst other things, the obituary states:

“Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.”

“Terry died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.”

Another Humorous (?) Tombstone

I don’t know if this tombstone is really funny or perhaps it is sad. It was posted to Facebook by Israel Pickholtz. Luckily, he also included a translation:

The above tombstone is translated as: “I have reared and raised my children and they have sinned against me.” It is a quote from the second verse of Isaiah.

Yes, his displeasure with his children is etched in stone.

A Humorous Tombstone

Tombstone of B.P. “Pearl” Roberts, Key West, Florida

No, Not a Professional Gynecologist!

On a recent episode of the television quiz show, Wheel of Fortune, a partially filled-out phrase looked good but the contestant blurted out the wrong answer: Professional Gynecologist.

professionalgenealogist

The correct answer was: Professional Genealogist.

You can see a video at https://goo.gl/PFzYxs.